Relations in Relationships

“I can’t afford it”.

“You must come home by 7 pm”.

“I didn’t expect this from you”.

These are quite common dialogues in most of the homes in our neighbourhood and for that matter any relationship. Let me define the term relationship. ‘An individual’s association with another person including with a pet’. 

‘Limitations in unlimited’ was the first thought I woke up with this morning. I was looking for seeding thoughts for this revelation.

One of my Aunts is a great cook. She makes wonderful delicacies. Unfortunately, you don’t get to taste the second serving. Because she prepares with a measure.

Once, a family was having a good time on a sunny afternoon and the children heard bell ring by a street ice-cream vendor. The loving Father wanted to treat his 2 children with chilled mango bars. But was forced to buy for all 20 children in the apartment complex out of compelling request from his children. The frosty mango bar tasted sour to him.

I was around 13 years and eager to serve food in a function. Décor team had arrived for lunch and they wanted extra sweet and some other items specially made for the occasion. I was delighted by the opportunity to serve them. My Uncle came rushing into the dining section and said only one piece per person.

Rolling further in nostalgia in most homes, especially in middle class families children get to eat the same food as the head of the family decides to eat. I can think of two reasons here, 1) Woman of the house was already overwhelmed with chores at home so simply prepared one dish for all; 2) Family economics wouldn’t support variety of food for each of the family member’s taste and choice. These conditions extended to clothing, what & where to study and even to the extent that how to live….. I know it’s patriarchy.

Expectations and getting hurt are inevitable in any relationship. Most commonly in friendships and intimate relationships also to an extent in professional front mainly on project deliverables. I earned the title ‘trouble shooter’ at workplace and people expectations were high and which I was not aware. At a new work place when I failed in my new task, where I started from scratch, I got to hear “this is not expected of you”.

Fans do not expect their heroes to lose and their cricketers to be out without making significant score in a given match. Parents always expect high achievements from their children.

But the truth of the matter is it’s just another movie, game and an exam or an attempt. Are those fans & followers help the performer in any way to be corrected to do improvement? Do they really understand the dynamics of the movie or Game, which their star performer had to encounter? Do all parents are really get to see what their children go through in their endeavours?

Winning and losing is part and parcel of life.

The relations in relationships are

  1. Conditions in unconditional love
  2. Limited resources in unlimited support.
  3. Expectations over unexpected life twists.

When our loved ones compromise on a condition, do we still extend our love unconditionally?

How can we say our support is unlimited when our own resources are limited?

What would life be if there weren’t any unexpected twists and turns?

Comment below 😊 Like and share.

Published by Shashidhar Bairapu - NLP Practitioner and Life Coach

Introvert turned extrovert. Fun loving person and a passionate to share my knowledge. A post graduate in Environmental studies with over 15 years of professional experience combining in research, consultancy, industrial and Government sectors. A patient listener, keen observer and a solution provider. A passionate mentor and coach and he equipped himself with necessary certified training is NLP, coaching and his own life experiences in different geographical and cultural backgrounds.

4 thoughts on “Relations in Relationships

  1. As a parent being there for the child when whole world is against them .

    Today’s time limiting them on the food intake is NOT due to scarcity but keeping in the count of calories intake

    Unlimited support can be moral support given by parents
    Or like my dad who stretched himself beyomd limits to fulfill my dream of studies.


  2. I literally went through way back to my childhood and adulthood. After reading your extra ordinary illustration and narration of nostalgic story of your life, I felt as if I was replaying movie of my life. You are really a magnificent, wonderful and extra ordinary person.


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