What requires for a healthy relationship?

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When an iron bar associates with water it rusts, while in association with fire it gets molded in different shapes. Similarly, people transform based on their associations. Most importantly their attitude towards particular relationships.

As a social animal, we all like companion(s) at every stage of our life. Some of them remain friends, some become best friends and some get into relationships.

Lucky are those whose relationships last for decades. Those who are unfortunate may breakup.

During my graduation, I witnessed one such thick friendship between two friends from the same class and incidentally they both hail from same place as well. It was very rare to see them apart. Then one day a misunderstanding between them got ugly so much so they even got physical. Everyone was so shocked to see the best buddies fight, that they became the talk of the campus. Later, when one of them was at the mess to have dinner a fellow student requested an elderly person to mediate and reunite the two friends.

The wise elderly man, calmly replied, “Never ever dare to reconcile a married couple, biological siblings, first cousins and thick friends. They will sort out their issues by themselves.” As he said, the two friends reunited within a couple of days. But they continued fighting frequently.  Later, it got to a point when they never made an effort to reunite, despite volunteers trying to mend their relationship.

Valuing a relationship is an individual’s choice.

Here, I would like to recall my grandma’s saying. Be it for a relationship or rivalry, one should choose a competent person!

Personally, I had drastic shifts in my life’s journey, starting in a village and moving across the Oceans. I never had an opportunity to stay long at any one place and cherish my friendships. At the same time, I’m blessed with some friends / colleagues who have turned out to be my all-time well-wishers. May God bless them with abundance.

I had cultivated a habit of calling up people I know at regular intervals, without any agenda. And most often, the conversations lasted for hours. This habit, to my surprise, is waning out now. I am now selective with whom I talk. Similarly, a few of my earlier best friends are no longer even friends.

The selective friends I have are those, where mutual growth and support has been nurtured since day one. Whereas, some parted ways mainly following a big lacuna in common areas of interest as well as lack of awareness and knowledge about topics of discussion.

However, some parted without any warning, while a few after heated arguments.

Life takes us on different courses. If the partner is not competent enough one can’t enjoy whatever they do together and sooner or later lacunae in the partnership becomes visible.

In order to keep pace with the current competent world, each one of us must race and grow in technical, social and personal skills as well as improve one’s emotional and spiritual quotients.

It is obvious and crystal clear these days, relations are no longer just an obligatory association. One has to strive to nurture and prove one’s role in relationship at every opportunity.

Father, mother, brother, sister, spouse, cousin and friend everyone has to grow together and take the relationships further.

Your spouse will not love you just because you are married.

Win your spouse’s heart by showering love continuously.

Your parents / siblings / children will not love just because of blood relation.

Be there to embrace and stand like the support to your family members in whatever way you can to show that blood is more viscous than water.

Your friends / associates will not hangout with you just because you studied / worked together.

Be a mentor and coach to your friend to guide and lead them in their career and social life to become role models in friendship / association that guarantee mutual growth.

Remember this mutual growth is a must to make your relationships healthy.


Published by Shashidhar Bairapu - NLP Practitioner and Life Coach

Introvert turned extrovert. Fun loving person and a passionate to share my knowledge. A post graduate in Environmental studies with over 15 years of professional experience combining in research, consultancy, industrial and Government sectors. A patient listener, keen observer and a solution provider. A passionate mentor and coach and he equipped himself with necessary certified training is NLP, coaching and his own life experiences in different geographical and cultural backgrounds.

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