Do you seek other’s approvals? How does others opinion weigh on your happiness level?
Do you take your own decisions or do you alter your decisions according to people’s opinions?
A young woman went on a shopping spree and purchased a hand-made bag with her first earning. As soon as she reached home, her sister made bad comments on the purchase. She ripped off her first purchase and within minutes the new bag was strewn around the room.
A young man waited for months and wedded his love. But within days, he hung himself because someone passed negative comments on his choice of life partner.
In every home and office, we see people who comment on our choices and decisions. Majority of people want to prove they are right and you are wrong.
I have jumped and said NO to others’ ideas without thinking even once.
Saying YES is a real tough lesson one should learn.
As a child, I was asked to go around to show my new pair of dress on festive days and ask how it was? But I wasn’t taught what I have to do with the responses I got?
Similarly, another golden rule for all children during my growing up years was to never question elders.
I had a load of questions to ask but didn’t know whom to ask. Some you learn by trial and error. However, you have to pay huge for some errors.
Despite being a post graduate and having worked as a profession for more than a decade, there were still some areas wherein I sought approvals and was not ready to take ‘No’ as an answer. But I was always first to say NO to others’ ideas.
A blessing in disguise of my solitude made me to re visit what I did and how I could have said it differently. After an incubation of that Idea, I gradually stopped saying NO to other’s free suggestions to me as well as others ideas in general.
There I remembered a wise man’s advice, “Listen to everyone but make your decision” and think 1000 times before you make the decision, but once made live with it.
I wish if that sister would have advised / listed before she spent her first earnings and that young man would have consulted many before he took his life.
My concern is many youngsters in modern society are becoming so sensitive by valuing others decisions more than theirs.
Here I would like to appeal to
All the parents to teach kids to receive criticism and process it before considering it for any decision making
All individuals who believe that you are decision makers, consult before you make the decision and not the other way around and stay with your decision
All those who have nothing to say except NO, please say so to yourself on advising others.
Shashidhar Bairapu 